Safe and Loved

In all of my life I have always had this trust in people. It isn't as if I would share my entire life story with them, but on the whole, I believe strongly in the goodness of the world. In the last two days that trust has been challenged beyond any measure I could have imagined.

The long and short of it is that I was attacked. I have always been so careful here about where and when I walk, especially when I am by myself. I was on my way to work about 5 minutes outside of Antigua just before 2:00 in the afternoon. There were two men walking in front of me for quite some time. I was aware of them and was keeping my distance. About a minute from work, not even there is a row of stores and repair shops. In the afternoon they don't get much business so there were probably around 20 people standing around and talking. At this spot the two men in front of me turned around and immediately attacked me. This is highly unusual because normally thieves ask for your things before they attack you. Had they done this I would have handed it over. However, this was not the case. One of them held my arms back while the other took my bag. My bag crosses over my arms so because the other guy was holding my arms the one couldn't get the bag off of me. So, he started to hit me. It probably wasn't smart but my self-defense kicked in at this point, literally, and I kicked the man who was taking my bag where the sun doesn't shine (sorry for a lack of a better term). He definately let up a little at this point long enough for me to get my bag off my arm and give it to him. The bad part was that he also kicked me in the gut and sidearm punched me in the left eye. The really hard part for me is that even though they had my things they continued to grab at my clothes and sexually harass me. At this point one of the people watching this all happen finallly stepped in and said "Aye no mas", basically, "hey, that's enough". The two men finally took my things, got into a parked car, and drove off.

It is amazing how an altrication that didn't last more than a minute and a half can seem to stretch on for hours. I distinctly remember watching the man's hand come across towards my face in slow motion. However, after they ran away I immediately lost my sense of calm. I walked the minute or so to Nuestro Ajilados. Thinking back on it two days later I am amazed at the reaction I got at work. Immediately I was sent to the clinic, police were called, the embassy was contacted with a full report, and a number of crucial phone calls were made. I had some really serious post traumatic stress syndrome. My blood pressure spiked, I couldn't think or breath, and I was light headed. However, the doctors and nurses at the clinic took care of everything and a counselor was brought in immediately. I am so blessed to have had her there. If not for the things she said and the amount of quick processing she was able to work me through in the first 30 minutes after the attack, my reaction now would have been very different.

Brandon was there from the beginning. After the clinic I was sent to the National Hospital for monitoring, X-rays of my head, and a surgeon looked at my stomach. Brandon stayed the entire day as well as Hector, one of the directors at Nuestro Ajiados who translated for me when I couldn't. So many friends and family were there so that I was never alone. I am just so overwhelmed by the outpouring of kindness and support. So many Guatemaltecos apologized to me saying how there are good people in Guatemala and how they were so ashamed of their countrymen. This doesn't really change anything. I love this country and I have from the first day I got here. Where two people hurt me, hundreds made sure I was okay. I may have lost possessions, my camera being the hardest one to deal with, I have my life and my integrity.

Now for the serious ironies in this whole situation. First of all, I was robbed on my way to my job at an organization that is working to end poverty. Secondly, those poor thieves, only got a camera that hadn't been working, Q3 (less than 50 cents), and a credit card with $15 on it (which is now cancelled). So little for all of that work and risk.

I am okay. I have a black eye, broken finger, sore stomach, headache, and a definate sense of violation and fear, but all of these things pass. I am supported, loved, and already on my way to healing. It would be such a blesing if you all could pray, not only for me but for the men who felt that this was their only option. Lastly, thank God for all of the amazing people who have helped me through these last couple of days. Brandon who stayed in the hospital for hours, Sarah who was the first to call my parents and who let me sleep in her room the last couple of nights, Hector who somehow got me into the emergency room at Antigua Nacional in less than 10 minutes, Pablo and Carlos brought my meds, my coat, talked to doctors, arranged transportation for all of these people, talked with me, and a lot of other stuff, and also for doctors, nurses, Charlie, Luke, Angel, Neto, and Ana Lucia at Nuestro Ajijados. God gave me an army of angels to get me through one of the hardest days of my life.

I am here to stay. While it is going to be a struggle to work through these things and to regain my sense of safety, going home wouldn't change anything that has happened.

I am safe. I am loved.